Wanting What You've Got

Why are we always looking for something or someone else? Someone different, better, smarter, taller, richer, sweeter? Perhaps Sheryl Crow says it best "It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got."

Are we worried that we're missing out or settling? Why can't we just be happy with the guy we're with? Or does he REALLY just suck. :P

Relationships that Stunt Our Growth

When I was a little girl, my mom used to tell me to drink lots of milk so I would grow. Clearly that milk didn't help my height, but I'd like to think I've "grown-up" on the inside. Yet, I wonder if certain relationships in my life have stunted my "growth." For example, the boy "friend" that will never be "the boyfriend."

A relationship that was toxic from day one, always lingering in a grey fog, sometimes as just friends, other times just hook-up pals, and once in a while delusionally thinking this could be something more. On paper, he'd be a great catch, but unfortunately in reality he lacks a certain trustworthy quality. And while I consciously know that he's not "the one" - yet, I wonder if on some level his presence in my life is preventing me from finding Mr. Right.

If someone doesn't measure up to the ridiculous top ten criteria, do I just jump ship because I know I can just hang out with hook-up boy, passing the time until "something better" comes along? But in the process, am I blind to that "something better"?

The Cell Phone Breathalyzer

I should never be allowed to drink and dial. There really should be a breathalyzer attached to my cell phone to prevent drunk dialing. I'm notorious for breaking out the phone after a few cocktails and it's never a good thing. I either end up at hook-up boy's apartment or calling a dumb boy I'm not really interested in (I figure dumb boys with small brains and drunk me are on the same level).

I've even deleted phone numbers from my cell phone for this reason and yet somehow I still manage to drunk dial. It's amazing the lengths a drunk girl will go through to contact a hook-up boy.

And speaking of hook-up boy, a part of me thinks it's nice having the regular hook-up boy who's on the back burner for whenever you're lonely. But the other part of me wonders if he's keeping me from actually finding Mr. Right? Something to ponder for another day... In the meantime, I really need to look into the cell phone breathalyzer patent.

- h:)

Boys Are Stupid

Sad but true, there are a lot of dumb boys out there. And unfortunately, we frequently don't realize it until too late - particularly when alcohol is involved. You're at a bar, drinking, having a good time, a decent looking guy starts chatting with you. It's loud, you're drunk, so you really don't realize he's an idiot until after you've already given him your number. He calls the standard 2-3 days later, you chat on the phone, and agree to go out. You hang up the phone and hope for the best on this date. But in the back of your mind, you're wondering "Was he nervous? Or is he an idiot?"

I really don't know how guys do it. How are men capable of the trophy wife/girlfriend scenario? Personally, I think I'd rather date the fat, ugly smart guy than the hot personal trainer with an IQ equivalent to his shoe size. (Speaking of which, I wonder whatever happened to that personal trainer guy...)

Perhaps this is something I've learned to appreciate with age. At some point, I thought looks were important, but I've come to realize that it's really all about his brain - someone you can talk to about life, the world, politics, work, the Dodgers. Is that really too much to ask for?

Still searching...
- h :)

The Plan

We plan out our college course loads, our career paths, marathon training schedules, fundraising events, but why is it that we don't plan out our relationships? Does anyone remember the episode of "Sex and the City" when Charlotte decides she's going to make her new job finding a husband? Well, that's NOT me. I already have a full time job, thank you very much.

But there is some merit to the idea of taking a more proactive approach. After all, Prince Charming isn't just going to come knocking at my door (that would be the Saigon Grill devliery guy.) But in a City with a population of 8 million, how am I going to find my Prince?

- h :)

Playing the Game

Why are relationships and dating such a game? I somtimes wonder if it's a game where someone forgot to tell me the rules. And please, don't tell me there's actually a book called "The Rules". At the end of the day, weren't rules made to be broken?

Unfortunately for those paying by the rules, there's too many players out there especially in the City. And too many of those "players" are men. Well, watch out guys - there's one more player out there and SHE's taking no prisoners.

- h :)